A Futile Fairytale
by A Memory Of Wings
Summary: What if Kagome where from America instead of Japan? She'd be a loud mouth, hot tempered, cynical teen and with a comment for everything. Rated PG for language.
1. Through The Well

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. Cuz if I did, I wouldn't waste my time writing them here. I'd be rich and you people wouldn't get a dime out of me! I'd be ruler of the world! MUAHAHAHAHA...I mean ah......I do not own Inuyasha cheesy smile -

Note: Inuyasha and Kaede ect ect are still Japanese and it's still in futile JAPAN - Oh and we're keeping her name Kagome. We'll just pretend she's Japanese American. I mean, we can't change her name. It's unholy! It's like..like..like changing peanut butter and jelly to marshmallows and banana..actually that sounds pretty good. I'm gonna go get me some of that. You guys go read. Go on, go on!

P.S: the little '' symbols mean their thinking. ie: 'hey! This is a great fic' -

* * *

_As in the beginning of the first episode Kagome is sitting on the floor of a room with her grandfather surrounded by boxes holding a replica of the Shikon no Tama while he grandfather tries to talk to her about it._

Grandfather: Listen Kagome. The Shikon no Tama's history began with...

Kagome: yea yea yea, whatever. More importantly where's my present!?

Grandfather: :_:sighs::_ Of course I remembered Kagome. I'd never forget my grandchild's birthday hands a box to her

Kagome: YES! It looks just about the size of a...::_sweat drops as she opens the box and pulls out the dried hand decapitated monster claw pokes at it::_ Gran, sorry but, I don't think this will play in my stereo

Grandfather: That mummified kappa's hand brings good luck, its history starts with... ::_stops talking and sweat drops as he sees Kagome out the window poking at people with the hand::_

Kagome: _::in a creepy voice to the scared people_:: Shake my haaaaaand

_Outside view of shrine_

Narrator Kagome (you get the idea -.-'): My house is this really old shrine. We four, My gran, mom, and my little brother live here.

_Kagome is dressed for school and runs out of the house_

Kagome: See ya latter mooooom

Narrator Kagome: No matter how often I hear gran say 'It's history starts with' I always forget. I mean really? Who would listen anyway? At least until today, when I turned 15

Kagome: _::stops running as she sees Souta standing in the doorway of the well building_:: What are you doing half pint? Mom said not to play in the shrine and she's right in the kitchen. I really should tell taps her chin in mock contemplation

Souta: Cut it out Kagome. Buyo is in there somewhere

Kagome: _::walks up rolling her eyes and looks down at the well room::_ Well then go get him. Don't be so scared.

Souta: I am not! I just ::_jumps and hides behind Kagome as a scratching sound comes from the top covering the well::_ Something's down there

Kagome: The cat duh. ::_sighs_:: I'll get the stupid cat ::_starts descending at another scraping sound comes from the well::_ 'What the hell..' ::_jumps a foot in the air as the cat rubs against her leg::_ EEP!!!

Souta: _::laughs::_ Ha! Now who's the wimp?

Kagome: _::growls then yells up at him::_ I'M GONNA CREAM YOU! ::_moves to run up the stairs but the top of the well explodes open, and out comes the torso of a woman with long black hair, a sort of vacant stare with tiny pupils, two black spots above each eye, and six arms. Two hands wrap around Kagome's neck and two more take her right arm. Kagome is pulled back::_

_Inside the well Kagome struggles violently as she's pulled down_

Kagome: What the...WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?

Mistress Centipede (we all know who it is . ): How wonderful, my powers are coming back licks Kagome's face You have it don't you

Kagome: You..you licked me _::eyes widen then start twitching with anger::_ LET THE FUCKING GO OF ME!!!!! _::thrusts out her hand to push the woman away and a bright light flares and the woman's arm disintegrates. Kagome blinks in shock:: _What the...How the hell did I do that, and how do I turn it on again?

Mistress Centipede: _::falls down below Kagome::_

Kagome: _::suddenly lands on the ground and looks up seeing light coming from the top Ok this is uber creepy notices the decapitated arm lying on the ground_:: Who the... Souta! Where the hell are you? And what did you do!? _::looks at the vine growing down the well then groans and starts climbing up::_ That kid is sooooo dead.

_Kagome comes up out of the well and into the forest and almost falls back in the well in shock_

Kagome: Crap _::climbs fully out of the well and starts walking::_ Alright. I know mom left the house right here. Reaches the Sacred Tree Home should be right around here. I...woah. _::Freezes as she sees Inuyasha pinned to the tree by the arrow, vines twisted around him::_ Just hangin around huh? _::Climbs up the vines towards him then stares at his ears::_ Those are so fake _::starts pulling at them and eeps when they don't some of::_ Crap. I don't think this is Kansas anymore

Voice: Hey! What are you doing over there!?

Kagome: _::turns then screams and jumps back as arrows are shot at her::_ YOU FUCKERS!

Another Voice: Who are you!? This place is off-limits

Kagome: ah...Oops?

_View of the sky along with a long scream of "craaaaaap!"_


	2. Inuyasha Revived

_Long view of some small fields and a few small buildings, and some wooded hills in the distance. The scene has now moved back to the village, Kagome is sitting on the ground, with her arms and ankles tied by rope, looking ready to murder someone_

Voices in background: She was in Inuyasha's forest. What strange clothes.

Kagome: LET ME GO RIGHT NOW OR I'M SUING EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!!!!

Woman: Maybe she's a demon

Kagome: Demon!? What the.. _::sighs::_ What kind of place is this?

Commanding voice: Clear the way! Priestess Kaede has arrived!

Kaeda: _::walks to Kagome::_ Who are you? Why were you in Inuyasha's forest?

Kagome: Who am I!? WHO AM I!? You try to turn me into a pincushion; you abduct me and tie me up then have the nerve to a-

Kaede: _::gasps in shock then holds Kagome's face_:: Let me see your face clearly.

Kagome: _::with her face smushed::_ waf the fuf..

Kaede: You resemble...Kikyou

Kagome: huh?

_View at night of a small house by a hill, Kagome and Kaede are sitting by the fire_

Kaeda: My sister was called Kikyou. She was the priestess who protected the village (we all know about the nice little explanation and flash back.) It's been 50 years since then.

Kagome: Um...I guess this isn't Philadelphia anymore.

Kaede: I haven't heard of it before. Is that your village?

Kagome: Um..yea. And I wouldn't mind getting back to it now. _::blinks for moment::_ Shit! How am I suppose to get back!?

_Suddenly there's a loud cracking sound and Mistress Centipede bursts from a house_

Kagome: _::sweat drops and groan/cries::_ Not her agaaaaain

Mistress Centipede: Hand over the Shikon Jewel!

Kaede: ::_looks at Kagome::_ You have the Shikon Jewel!?

Kagome: NO! She's crazy! And even if I did, NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO TALK ABOUT IT!! _::dodges out of the way as the monster lunges her::_ 'Damnit she's gonna destroy everything going after me. The bitch! I have to get away.' Which way is the forest?

Kaede: To the east

Kagome: _::turns and runs away from the village towards the forest, Mistress Centipede in hot pursuit::_ Crap, crap, crap ,crap, crap

_In the forest Inuyasha suddenly moves and his eyes open_

Inuyasha: I can smell it! The girl who killed me.

Kagome: _::running through the forest:_: THIS IS NOT WHAT I PLANNED TO DO TODAY!!!

Mistress Centipede: Give me the Shikon jewel!

Kagome: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! What I wouldn't give for a can of bug spray _::yelps as Mistress Centipede lunges again throwing Kagome foreward and into a crouching position before Inuyasha's tree::_

Inuyasha: What are you doing with that Centipede opponent of yours?

Kagome: I'm playing tag! What the hell does it....wait ::_looks up at Inuyasha in surprise then shrieks::_ YOU WERE DEAD!!!

Inuyasha: ::_smirks::_ Why don't you settle things with a single blow Kikyou . Like when you killed me.

Kagome: Now what are YOU talking about. You people are insane! My name is not-

Inuyasha: It comes

Kagome: Did you just cut me of? Excuse me but I- _::yelps again as Mistress Centipede comes through the trees and snatched Kagome up but get drops again as Spears hit Mistress Centipede. Falls to the ground panting::_ Woot! Saved!

Inuyasha: What a disgrace Kikyou

Kagome: _::eyes starts to twitch as she stands then gets into Inuyasha's face::_ I am not this Kikyou person. You. Are. Making. A. Mistake.

Inuyasha: Don't be stupid! The only girl who smells like this is...huh...You're...not Kikyou

Kagome: DUH!!!! You half-pint. My name is Kagome! K. A. G. O. M. E. Say it with me now! KAGOME!!!

Inuyasha: _::looks away::_ Yea. Kikyou was cuter. Much cuter

Kagome: WHAT!? I'll give you cuter. How about if I pound your cute little scull farther into your cute little a- _::gets cut of as two villagers crash to the ground before them and Kagome is snatched up by Mistress Centipede but she holds on to Inuyasha's two side locks::_

Inuyasha: Ow-ow-ow-ow Let go!

Kagome: Ha! Fat chance

Kaede: Inuyasha..has awoken. That seal should have been unbreakable for eternity. Why now?

Mistress Centipede: Give me the Shikon Jewel!

Kagome: I DON'T HAVE IT!!! _::shoves at Mistress Centipede again and the monster's arms are blown away::_

Everyone: _::stares in shock::_

Kagome: It happened again. And yet I still don't know how to work it groans My kingdom for some Raid

Mistress Centipede: bitch! _::rushes at Kagome and bites her in the side::_

Kagome: _::screams as the Shikon Jewel bursts from her body as she's bitten::_

Kaede: The Sacred Jewel!

Kagome: _::collapsed on the ground::_ 'Th...that came from inside of me? What the hell did I eat this morning!? Just some eggs, and mom's bacon. There was that fuzzy white stuff Souta made, but it didn't look that dangerous and mom was watching.'

Kaede: The Jewel was hidden in her body

Inuyasha: That belongs to me! Hand it over!

Kagome: You son of a- _::yelps as part of the monster's body drags past picking Kagome up and wraps around her pinning her to the tree::_

Mistress Centipede: _::looks at Inuyasha::_ I heard there was some half- demon brat looking for the Shikon Jewel.

Kagome: Demon!? Ah....I don't think this is gonna work, I'm Christian. So I'll just _::struggles for a moment trying to get free then sighs and stops::_

Inuyasha: _::smirks::_ Don't take me lightly. Compared to me, a demon like you is small fry.

Kagome: You're talking a whole lot of shit. I reeeeally hope you can back it up.

Mistress Centipede: Can't move, can you. Your power has been sealed hasn't it. wraps her tongue around the jewel and eats it and suddenly starts to regenerate it's arms growing back ect

Kagome: That's so not fair. I went through a lot of trouble taking those of

Inuyasha: Will you shut up

Kagome: SCREW YOU! THIS IS HOW I DEAL WITH STARK RAVING FEAR!!

Mistress Centipede: Now my power is back to full! :_:starts to tighten her coils around Kagome and Inuyasha::_

Kagome: being crushed Oxygen...is...a necessity!

Inuyasha: This arrow. Can you get it out?

Kagome: What!? I'm a little busy right now!

Kaede: You must not child! The arrow is what seals Inuyasha. He must not be freed.

Inuyasha: Wake up old woman. Do you want to become centipede bait. If that thing completely absorbs the Shikon Jewel, it's over

Kagome: He's got my vote _::reaches up and yanks the arrow out of Inuyasha and the arrow blazes then disappears. In the blast of power the Mistress Centipede is thrown back and Kagome falls to the ground::_


	3. Like Kikyou

Inuyasha: _::breaking free::_ HA!_ ::faces Mistress Centipede Come and get it jumps in the air and rips Mistress Centipede's body apart straight through then lands on the ground smugly with body parts falling around him::_

Kagome: Really gross, but that was so fucking cool! I won- Ah!!! _::jumped back and screamed as she notices that the body parts are still twitching::_ NO WAY! WHY WON'T YOU PEOPLE STAY DEAD!!

Kaede: It's protected by the Jewel shard. Can you see the glowing piece of flesh? The Shikon Jewel should be in there. If we don't extract the jewel she will revive again

Kagome: _::sweat drops and looks at Kaede::_ You're kidding, right? _::looks at the twitching body parts which are moving more now::_ Shit, you're not! _::scans the parts::_ I see it! Right there

Kaede: _::walks over and pulls out the jewel and gives it to Kagome before she can object_::

Kagome: _::makes a face at it::_ Why are you giving it to me? Why the hell would I have a jewel in my body_? ::sighs::_ Well at least it's over. Guess things can't get any worse now

Inuyasha: ::_standing infront of Kagome menacingly::_ I'll make you a deal. You bring me the Jewel right now and I won't have to sharpen my claws on you

Kagome: WHAT!? You little- _::looks up at the sky and whines::_ Then she clouds opened up and God said 'I hate you Kagome'

Kaede: Pay no heed to Inuyasha, child.

Kagome: Oh I wasn't. He sounds like he's talking to himself again

Inuyasha: How dare you! I hate having to wait. And I hate the smell of you! _::rushes right at Kagome, and strikes the ground where she was sitting, but she threw herself to the side. Lands and smirks::_

Kagome: He's trying to kill me! That son of a bitch growls I'll kill him!

Inuyasha: _::smirks landing:: w_ant me to scratch your back?

Kagome: No thank you. You're the one with fleas I'm sure

Villagers: Arrows! Arrows!

Inuyasha:_::leaps up cutting a tree so it crashes down on the villagers then lands on the stumps::_ Just who do you people think I am. Do you really think you can hurt me like I did that centipede?

Kagome: _::snorts cynically::_ Aren't we cocky

Villagers: My lady. I think perhaps we should have chanced the centipede

Kaede: I thought it would come to this _::pulls the necklace from her shirt::_

Kagome: _::running as Inuyasha chases after her_:: Why does everyone want to play tag today!!!!?

Inuyasha: Prepare yourself!

Kagome: How the hell do you expect me to do that!? _::falls forward as Inuyasha's claws just barely miss her again the jewel falling from her pocket then turns seeing the giant claw marks left in the ground:: _Oh fuuuuuck

Inuyasha: _::lands before Kagome just as the necklace appears around his neck::_ What the- What are these!?

Kaede: Quickly child. Speak the word of subjugation

Kagome: _::panting::_ Subju-wat!? What are you talking about!

Kaede: A word! Your word has power to hold his spirit

Kagome: ::_picks up the jewel_:: What word!?

Kaede: It matters not!

Kagome: :_:drops the jewel across the bridge just as Inuyasha shoots out of the forest::_

Inuyasha: Ha! How can you contain my spirit, when you can't even sit up _::lands on the bridge::_

Kagome: _::growls eye starting to twitch:_: Me sit up? Why don't you be the good boy and SIT!

Inuyasha: ::_eyes widen in surprise as he crashes down onto the bridge::_

Kagome: Hey it worked! Woot!

Inuyasha: ::_sits up growling::_ What the heck is this thing!? _::starts trying tug it of but it won't come of::_

Kaede: I'm sorry Inuyasha, but even you lack the power to take it of

Inuyasha: Grrr, we'll see about that! I'd come up there and finish you off if you didn't look half dead already!

Kaede: The word please

Kagome: _::smiles so evilly Inuyasha backs up a bit::_ Siiiiister, Siiiiiiameese, Siiiiiiiin

Inuyasha: _::growls and leaps at Kagome::_

Kagome: SIT BOY!

Inuyasha_: ::yelps as he crashes through the bridge and plunges into the water bellow::_

Kaede: Well then. Shall we go home?

Kagome: That was fun! I sure wish I had said it before

_Kagome is sitting the house with Kaede as she bandages Kagome's stomach._

Kaede: Is that alright

Kagome: Peachy ::_winces then looks at the people building outside::_ That's gonna take a lot of work.

Kaede: Work yes. But many worst demons will come to try to take the jewel . And not just demons. Humans will try to take the jewel to make their petty dreams reality

Kagome: ::_looks at Inuyasha who is sprawled on the floor with his back to them looking peeved_:: You should feel ashamed of yourself. Why the hell are you here anyway?

Inuyasha: I'm waiting for the jewel

Kagome: _::rolls her eyes sarcastically::_ Oh well then let me just go right and get it for you

Kaede: Do not worry. With those beads around his neck his threat is gone. It's the only way we can let him so close to the jewel

Kagome: _::pokes Inuyasha in the back with a stick::_ Why do you want the jewel anyway. You seem strong enough already. Don't tell me it's to improve you people skills

Kaede: He wants it because he's only half demon

Inuyasha: ::_growls angrily and punches his hand through the floor::_ I'm getting tired of some dried up with talking like knows me

Kaede: Ah so you don't remember. I am the younger sister of Kikyou, the woman who sealed you. Kaede

Inuyasha: You're Kaede? ::_sits back and smirks::_ So you're the brat huh?

Kagome: _::throws a rock at Inuyasha and it hits him in the head::_

Inuyasha: ::_turns and growls at her claws flashing::_

Kagome: ::_smiles charmingly_:: Siiiii-

Inuyasha: ::_growls and turns away::_ Not worth it anyway. I guess if she's that old, Kikyou must be pushin a hundred. Sure glad I don't have to worry about getting old. Least not for a while

Kaede: Kikyou didn't worry either. She died. The same day she shot ye with the arrow

Inuyasha: Gee, sorry to hear that. Not that I really care or nothing. One less thing for me to worry about

Kaede: Do not let your guard down yet Inuyasha, I know now that Kagome is the reincarnation of me sister. And not just because you resemble her, the Jewel of four souls was in her body. That alone is proof enough for me. You child, must carry on its protection

_View in the village of some villagers recognizing Kagome._

Woman: I heard that she is a reincarnation of Kikyou

Old Man: Well, I know it was Kikyou all the time!

_Behind Kagome, the villagers bow, put their hands together and close their eyes - like they're praying, as a sign of respect. Kagome looks behind her at this and sweat dropped._

Kagome: Oh gee great. I'm being worshipped. I always new I would but I hoped because of my wonderful beauty and perfect ness not because of some dead chick. _::glances around a bit freaked out::_ I really gotta get out of here _::walks of quickly::_


	4. Kidnapped! Again

_View from below of Inuyasha sitting on the branch of a tree, while Kagome below looks on._

Inuyasha: 'How can that girl be Kikyou'

Kagome:_ :throws a pear at Inuyasha:_

Inuyasha: _:catches it without looking then turns around and glares at her:_ What's with all the food

Kagome: _:sits down at the base of the tree setting down all the food she's carrying: _Don't be so mean. I came to share my yummy food with you.

_Kagome is sitting on the ground with Inuyasha beside her as she munches some fruit. Inuyasha is staring at her distrustfully_

Kagome: What's your problem. Take a picture it'll last you longer!

Inuyasha: What ever you're up to it won't work

Kagome: I'm not up to anything! I don't know why you don't like me. Everyone likes me. As a matter of fact, it's not even me you dislike; it's this Kikyou chick!

Inuyasha: _:growls then jumps up into the tree and turns his back to her:_

Kagome: I am not Kikyou! Do we have to go through this again! My name. Is. Kagome. Ka-Go-Me. God, why can't you just relax?

Inuyasha: AHA! I knew it. You don't get I'm just here for the jewel. You just want to lure me into a false sense of security!

Kagome: _:hums innocently: _Really? You think? Don't know why that it. All I gotta do to make you behave is say the word sit :_:doesn't move as Inuyasha hits the ground:_ You know I don't know how this is gonna work. What if we're walking and all of the sudden I have to tell you I need to SIT down, or I'd like to SIT and and rest. It'd be really awful if when I said SIT! You have to SIT! _:stands up and walks off:_ See ya

Inuyasha (stuck in a deep whole, his form smoking from the impact): Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

_scene of Kagome sleeping then outside a tree is filled with dark eyes crows_

Inuyasha:_shoots out of the trees scattering the crows_: humph. Lechers. They're only here cuz they smell the jewel

_Morning again. Kagome is walking of towards the forest_

Kagome (thinking): 'Well I came in through the well, so obviously it's the way out.' _:walks into the forest:_ 'I miss my CD player, and fries, and burgers, and TV. And I really have to pee

_At the village_

Kaede: Kagome! Kagome!

Villagers: We haven't found her Lady Kaede

Kaede: Could it be that she's gone of on her own? We spoke of creatures who wanted the jewel but not nearly enough.

_View of Inuyasha crouching on the roof of some building._

Inuyasha: Grrr :_dashes off:_

_Kagome continues to walk through the forest, while in the bush behind her, two pairs of eyes stare out. Then a large group of men move along the bushes. Kagome is oblivious, of course._

Kagome:_spots the well_: That's it! Indoor plumbing I'm coming home _:yelps as two hands suddenly grab each of her upper arms, and an arm covers her face:_ 'Why is everyone kidnapping me this week!'

_View from outside of the entrance to a large, run-down building, with some crows flying in the air outside. Inside the building some ugly soldiers shove Kagome onto the floor_

Soldier 1: Hey boss! We caught the girl just like you said we should!

Soldier 2: Heh, heh. Her kimonos shorter than mine. _:tugs at her skirt:_ Hey, you might catch cold

Kagome: You crazy mother fuckers:_sweat drops angrily_: What's with all you guys around here. Ever seen a skirt before. Or soap.

Soldier 3: Is that it, our hands too dirty for ya

Kagome: exactly. I'm glad you see it my way. Now let me go and I'll kill you _:stops and tugs at her hair then smiles innocently:_ Or. I meant or. Heh heh _:smiles then turns and jumps as the giant scarred bald leader comes His body sluggish, eyes dull and glazed looking in every direction:_

Leader: Hand over the jewel. Right now

Kagome: _:tries to move back but the soldiers catch her arms and hold them as the leader pulls out a sword:_ Ooooooh, shit.

Soldier 1: Try takin it off in one swing boss. Like a dandelion :_smirks as Kagome struggles:_ Hey! Stop squirmin

Kagome: Right. That's exactly what I'm gonna do

Leader: _:lifts up the sword and brings it down but misses and impales one of the soldiers:_

Dying Soldier: Boss! Whatadya do that for?_ :dies:_

Soldiers & Kagome: _:stare in shock then scream and run out of the way as the leader starts swinging the sword aimlessly:_

Soldier 4: Boss! Boss! Where ya aimin?

Soldier 5:_pushing Kagome forward with the others_: It's her you want

Kagome: _:growls and moves away from their hands:_ Dumb asses! Can't you see there's something wrong with your boss! Unless he's always retarded like this.

Soldier 2: No

Kagome: Alright then stop messin around AND GET YOUR BUTTS IN GEAR! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

Kagome & Soldiers: _:scream and duck as the leader swings again:_

Kagome:_ducks under the leaders legs:_ 'Here I am! In some kind of stoned Wonderland. Playing goose goose dead duck with a giant.' NOT WHAT I WANTED TO DO TODAY!

_View of Inuyasha rushing along the forest_

Inuyasha: Stupid girl! I don't care where she goes but she took the jewel with her!

_Back inside the little hut the leader swings the sword cutting down the columns and collapses a piece of the ceiling in on the door, debris landing on a fallen soldier_

Kagome: Damn it :_tugs the Soldier to his feet:_ Don't kill yourself

Soldier: Th..thank you for saving me

Leader: I want the jewel

Kagome: Grrrrrr 'God why does everyone want this stupid rock? I should have listened to Kaede. Stupid stupid stupid' :_:sneaks past slowly and the group of soldiers run forward as the leader lunches at them and hide behind Kagome. Glares at them: _Thanks for nothing! Babies.

Soldiers: _:laugh sheepishly:_

Leader: Give me the jewel!

Kagome: Now what do I do. Now what do I do? We need...need a way out! Maybe if I distract him. _:pulls of the jewel:_ Here boy! Fetch_ :throws it then blanches when the leader doesn't move:_ FUCK:_looks at the soldiers:_ Try to push out that wall!

Soldiers: Right:_ram the wall but it barely cracks:_ Sorry boss, no good

Kagome: WHAT? So I'm your boss now huh? Wish you'd figured that out WHEN YOU HAD ME KIDNAPPED! Alright then you bitches _:turns around just in time to see the leader raising his sword:_ 'A miracle would be really appreciated right now. An earthquake, volcanic eruption..

Inuyasha: _:shoots through the wall and jumps infront of Kagome the sword braking on his kimono then punches the leader a couple times in the face and he topples backwards:_

Kagome: 'A half demon with a sword proof suit. That's good _too' :tackles Inuyasha who falls over in surprise:_ INUYASHA! YOU RULE LIKE A BITCH! You're timing really sucks. BUT YOU STILL RULE!

Inuyasha: Get of me wench! I only came for the jewel

Kagome: Oh. :_Jumps up and stands glaring at him:_ Jack ass

Inuyasha: Where is it anyway? Is it safe?

Kagome:_smiles sheepishly_: um...

Inuyasha: WHAT?

Inuyasha: Tell em you did not loose it!

Kagome: Alright, I won't

Leader:_struggles to his feet again and Kagome and Inuyasha jump back:_

Inuyasha: What's that smell? It's like rotting meat or..or :_smirks suddenly as a three eyed crow sticks it's head of a hole in the giant man's chest:_ Ha, so that's it. How much ya wanna bet that crow ripped his living heart out and made itself a bloody nest

Kagome: A nickel?

Inuyasha: Wha...WHAT IS WITH YOU?

Kagome: EXCUSE ME IF I DON'T GO INTO SCREAMING FITS AT EVERY LITTLE THING!What the hell kind of crowmakes a man into a puppet?

Inuyasha: A demon. A Carrion Crow doesn't fight on it's own unless there are dead bodies handy. _:rolls up his sleeve:_ They ain't so tough. But their hell and nasty! _:jabs his arm into the hole in the man's chest trying to capture the bird but it bursts out the man's back and flies out the window:_


	5. Kagome's Arrow

Kagome: Aren't you going after it?

Inuyasha: Maybe you haven't noticed but there are lots of monsters in the world. Want I should go after them all.

Kagome: Yes please.

Inuyasha: If you want to do the fighting you go right ahead. In the mean time where's the _:almost falls over as he watches the crow swoop down and snatch up the jewel where it lay in the grass:_ AH! That stupid crow is making of with the jewel. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Kagome: ME? ME? I TOLD YOU TO GO AFTER HIM

Inuyasha: _:bursts out of the building dragging Kagome after him:_ Oh no you don't! _:notices a bow and arrow:_

_Inuyasha is jumping through the air outside following closely behind the crow, with Kagome on his back, with the bow in one hand, and the quiver around her shoulder._

Inuyasha: What are you doing! Shoot it!

Kagome: You're stoned. I've never even seen a real bow in my life. Do I look like Legolas? All I know is you shoot the pointy end.

Inuyasha: That thing feeds on human flesh. If you think that's bad let it swallow the jewel

Kagome:_looks up and yelps as the crow swallows the jewel:_ Ah hate to burst your bubble but..it swallowed it. :_sighs:_ Fine, I'll try

Inuyasha: Thank you _:smirks:_ 'And after she's taken out the crow, then it's her turn' Kikyou was a master archer. Take it in one shot

Kagome: I'M KAGOME DAMNIT! 'still someone help me make this shot' Here goes nothing :_shoots the arrow just as Inuyasha jumps up high into the arrow. The arrow doesn't even go far, just simply falls from the bow:_

Inuyasha: _:falls face flat into the dirt in shock:_

Kagome: Kikyou was a master archer. What a load of shit.

Inuyasha: SHE was. You're just damn clumsy, aren't you?

Kagome: I also have the sharp pointy arrow I'm going to poke you in the eye with if you don't shut up!

Inuyasha: _:starts running after the crow again, which has grown to about 10 time it's size, with Kagome on his back:_ See how big it's gotten? Take it down this time!

Kagome: Whatever :_:fires the bow again and the arrow goes a bit farther but still falls incredibly short:_

Inuyasha:_growls and drops Kagome of his back then glares at her:_ I don't care what the old woman says! You. Are not. Kikyou. You got that. I'm out of here _:runs of:_

Kagome: Son of a:_runs after him_: I'll kill him!

_The crow flies low over a bridge and snatches up a little boy flying him over the water_

Woman: Somebody heeeeeelp!

Inuyasha: _:runs along the treetops after the crow_: Lookin for your next mean already huh? _:smirks:_ You forget you have to first get through me!

Kagome_:runs up onto the bridge:_ IDIOT! YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE BOY

Inuyasha: Stay out of the way:_jumps at the bird:_ IORN REAVER SOUL STEALER:_tears apart the crow and the boy falls into the rushing water bellow:_

Boy: Ahhhhhh!

Inuyasha: _:growls searching the scattered crow parts:_ Where is it? Where's the jewel?

Kagome:_:;growls and tugs of her shoes and socks then dives into he water and swims after the boy:_

Boy: Heelp!

Kagome: 'Woot! And swimming lessons pay of'

Old Man: _:standing on the bank with the other villagers watching Kagome swim against the tide in shock:_ Look at her go! So fast. She's a nymph. A water nymph. She's not human I tell ya!

Kagome: 'What a bunch of spazes' _:reaches the boy and smiles reassuringly then lifts him into her arms:_ It's alright. I got ya _:starts back stroking back to shore:_

Man: Now it's on it's back! What a day! What a girl! What a nymph!

Kagome"And they say I'M hyper active?' _:drags to boy onto shore then stands:_

Inuyasha: _:screams at Kagome from across the river: _You stupid girl! GET THE JEWEL! THE JEWEL!

Kagome: _:simply gives him the finger over her shoulder:_

Inuyasha: what? DID she just-

Boy: thanks for savin me

Boy's Mother:_bowing to Kagome:_ Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Kagome: _:grin_: 's ok. All in a days work

Inuyasha: _:growls as the crows body regenerates and shoots out of the water:_ You idiot! It's getting away

Kagome: _:turns to see the crow shoot out of the water:_ Oooooh yea. I forgot the jewel lets them do that. Heh _:turns back as she hears frightened gasps and sees the crows foot still clutched around the boys shirt and twitching:_ ooooh. Idea! _:looks at a man with a bow: _Hey can I borrow that.

Man: Ah, sure _:hands them to her:_

Kagome: _:ties the crows foot the arrow then aims at the crow:_

Inuyasha: _:growls and turns his head arrogantly: _My butt she's gonna hit it

Kagome: That's a lot of area to bet _:releases the arrow and it speeds towards the crow:_

Inuyasha: I get it! She's shootin the foot

Kagome: 'The jewel will draw the foot. The crow wants to regenerate so it almost guarantees the arrow will hit...I hope.'

_The arrow stabs the crow right through the body, causing it to shake. In a big explosion of light, the crow and the arrow are torn apart. Kagome looks on in joy, and some villagers look on in surprise._

Kagome: BINGO! I hit- it, I hit-it. GO Kagome. Go Kagome. WOOT! _:looks at Inuyasha:_ Your ass is mine.

Inuyasha: She hit it! I can't believe it!

_Above the valley, there's a massive secondary explosion filling the air with deep lavender and white light, and it looks like a few things have been flung off at high speed. Overlaid, Kagome and Inuyasha look on in surprise._

Kagome: Oooooh crap. That light doesn't look good.

_In the village, a villager points at the light, looking questioningly at Kaede, who looks on in surprise._

Villager: Lady Kaede! That light

Kaede: Aye. And I like not, the looks of it

_The sky fades to dusk and Kagome and Inuyasha are searching a small glade in the forest_

Inuyasha: Are you sure the jewel fell around here?

Kagome: ahhhh...yea. But that light. It kind a worries me.'

Inuyasha: WORRIES YOU HOW? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

Kagome: Calm down! I know the jewel is around here. I can...can sense it somehow. 'Oh great, now I sound like some cheap exorcist' _:yelps suddenly as the crows decapitated head shoots towards her:_

Inuyasha: _:jumps infront of Kagome and claws apart the head:_ I don't think so!

Kagome: _:watches as what looks like a glowing pale lavender shard of glass falls to the ground:_ uh...oh

Inuyasha: uh oh. UH OH WHAT?

Kagome: Ah...

Inuyasha: _:sounding frantic:_ AH WHAT?

Kagome: I hope that's not what I think it is

Inuyasha:_eye twitching:_ What do you think it is?

Kagome: I think...think it's a fragment of the Shikon jewel

Inuyasha: Wha...WHAT!


End file.
